USCCB - (Film and Broadcasting)

Piranha 3D

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Piranha 3D

In this schlocky horror flick, ultra-decadent Spring Break festivities on an Arizona lake turn deadly after seismic activity unleashes prehistoric fish with an appetite for slatternly coeds and the otherwise ethically challenged. The local sheriff (Elisabeth Shue) must try to save her teenage son (Steven R. McQueen) and his two younger siblings (Sage Ryan and Brooklyn Proulz). The predatory fish have nothing on director Alexandre Aja’s voyeuristic camera, which takes equal prurient delight in watching gyrating bodies in party mode as it does in showing them get shredded and dismembered. Intense graphic violence – including a decapitation, numerous severed torsos, and other mutilated and dismembered bodies and body parts; full frontal female nudity; much groping and kissing amongst women and between men and women; frequent rough, crude, and crass language; much profanity; frequent underage drinking and one instance of drug use. O – morally offensive. (R) 2010

Piranha 3D (Full Review)

The link between committing sins of the flesh and becoming a victim in a horror movie was never more blatant than in the tall and tawdry fish tale entitled “Piranha 3D” (Dimension).

Just as punishment awaits the film’s most wanton characters, audience members who venture into its blood-filled waters seeking an escape will feel as though they’re being reprimanded. While the tone adopted is hardly self-serious or censorious, the story is cripplingly vacuous. There aren’t enough ideas to make “Piranha 3D” remotely unsettling; and the lasciviousness and gore displayed are more wearisome than offensive or frightening.

“Babes, boats and bikinis” is one (mild) description of the scene at Arizona’s Lake Victoria, where undergrads flock for their Spring Break bacchanalia. This year, seismic activity causes a fissure in the lake bed that releases prehistoric fish with an appetite for slatternly coeds and the otherwise ethically challenged. In a rather pitiful homage to “Jaws,” the first victim of these voracious creatures is a local fisherman played by Richard Dreyfuss.

Not only does Lake Victoria’s sheriff Julie Forester (Elizabeth Shue) have to worry about the safety of the throngs of scantily-clad visitors, her teenage son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) and his much-younger siblings Zane and Laura (Sage Ryan and Brooklyn Proulz) are also imperiled. Jake has shirked his babysitting duties to act as location scout for soft-core pornographer Derrick Jones. Jerry O’Connell sinks his bleached incisors into the role, which is clearly modeled on “Girls Gone Wild” impresario Joe Francis.

Jones and the predatory fish have nothing on director Alexandre Aja’s voyeuristic camera, which takes equal prurient delight in watching gyrating bodies in party mode as it does in showing them get shredded and dismembered.

Anyone hoping there might be a silver lining in the fact 3D technology is being used for something other than an animated or science-fiction feature will be disappointed. The underwater action is generally murky and the special effects deployed above the surface are equally pedestrian. Stomach-churning make-up work is the only exception.

At the peak of the mayhem, Sheriff Forrester gives the panicking hordes this obvious advice, “Whatever you do, don’t go into the water!” Heed her counsel and refrain from jutting even a toe into this piece of exploitation cinema.

The film contains intense graphic violence – including a decapitation, numerous severed torsos, and other mutilated and dismembered bodies and body parts; full frontal female nudity; much groping and kissing amongst women and between men and women; frequent rough, crude, and crass language; much profanity; frequent underage drinking and one instance of drug use.

The Catholic News Service classification is O – morally offensive. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is R – restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

These movies have been evaluated for artistic merit and moral suitability by the media reviewing division of Catholic News Service. The reviews include the CNS rating, the Motion Picture Association of America rating, and a brief synopsis of the movie.

The classifications are as follows:

A-I -- general patronage;
A-II -- adults and adolescents;
A-III -- adults;
L -- limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. L replaces the previous classification, A-IV.
O -- morally offensive.

Note: Some movies previously were designated A-IV. Older films with this classification should be regarded as classified L.